The Mechanics of Memory by Audrey Lee

Author:Audrey Lee [Lee, Audrey]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: CamCat Publishing

24

altered state

HOPE

The Wilder Sanctuary

Rancho Mirage, California

“These are possibly the weirdest huevos rancheros I have ever eaten. Tía Lucia would roll over in her grave if she saw me eating this.” Quinn inspected his fork with a wrinkled nose, then popped it into his mouth anyway. “Never make good food out of healthy shit.”

Hope had to agree, even though she didn’t have a Mexican relative, dead or alive, to offend. The “chorizo” was a sad combination of turkey and tofu; the cheese didn’t taste like cheese. The eggs were poached perfectly, so that was something. The whole thing was piled on a fake tortilla made of pulverized cauliflower. Crunchy, passable, but overall wrong.

Quinn had evidently decided to act like Hope had been on a vacation for the past five days rather than mourning in a hole.

“. . . and so Tess lost her shit. Full-on Carrie style, without the blood. She kicked over all of Ami’s crystal bowls and threw a tuning fork at her. Complete disruption to my sound bath.”

Hope smiled, because she was expected to. Her time with Luke in the Butterfly Box had been on continuous replay in her head since it happened: Hope, I can’t, Hope, I can’t, on an unrelenting loop. Her meds had never been more welcome last night.

“I thought Ami was going to cry,” Quinn continued. “Honestly, I think not having Carter being shitty at yoga is taking a toll on her chakras.”

Hope looked into her mug, gripping it tightly.

“I’m sorry, Mi’ja. I wasn’t thinking. I’m . . .” Quinn sighed and rolled his shoulders. “I had the Labyrinth yesterday. And today⁠—”

“It’s fine,” Hope said. Quinn spent so much time being the upbeat one at Wilder. It was easy to forget he was a patient, and things like the Labyrinth drained him as much as everyone else. She patted his hand.

“I’m just all Tom Cruise on Oprah right now.” Quinn shook his head from side to side, like a dog leaving a swimming pool. It gave her a headache to watch.

Quinn considered her as he folded his napkin corner to corner. “You’re going to be fine, little Hopeless,” he said.

“That’s a pretty big ask, considering where we are.” Hope let the steam from her tea rise over her nose, beading in tiny droplets on her upper lip.

“We can fix you later,” Quinn said. “But today we have much bigger fish to fry.”

Most residents had cleared from the dining room, having already placed their plates in the metal bins and shuffled to goal setting. Jonah hadn’t shown up to chivy the last stragglers on to their next activity, so Quinn leaned in. “We need to plan our next steps.”

“Q,” Hope said. “We don’t even know how Carter got those files. And even if we did, I don’t want to ask Royce for help again. I don’t trust him.”

“Royce is gone too.” Quinn raised an eyebrow. “Coincidence? Right after he helped us? The body count is growing.”

Quinn unfolded his napkin and returned it to his lap. He poked at his egg, and the yellow insides flooded his cauliflower tortilla.

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